E34 Emphatic Order

A while back in E26, I talked about emphasizing particular words in a sentence.

This article is about how to put the important data in a place where it will carry a punch.  Before I give these examples let’s review standard order.  (The grey word are never spoken nor written.  They are given for those to whom English grammar is a new subject.)  Skip it if you know this.

OK, let’s look at variations of emphatic order.  In exclamations, you place the emphatic word or idea in an important position, usually at the beginning in a short sentence:

            How lovely the bride looks!

            What courage he displayed!

1. Put it first.
1. Standard:  He went over.
2. Emphatic: Over he went.

2. Use repetition.
1. Emphatic: Don’t do it tomorrow; don’t do it this afternoon; do it now.

3. Delay key words.
1. Standard: My marks are disgraceful, my father says.
2. Emphatic: My marks are, my father says, disgraceful.

4. Eliminate the unnecessary word or phrase.
1. Standard: We all voted her captain unanimously.
2. Emphatic: We voted her captain unanimously.

5. Use the Active Voice
1. Standard: A good time was had by all of us.  (expository)
2. Emphatic: We all had a good time.  (narrative)

Make it memorable.  People remember best the part of the sentence (and lesson or essay) that is closest.  Thus they remember best the last thing they read or hear, and then next best they remember the first thing that they read or hear.  That is why we put the thesis at the beginning and the conclusion at the end: even if the anecdotes or facts are forgotten, the ‘gist’ of the idea will be captured.

Which version of these sentences would Henry David Thoreau have chosen?

            Give me truth, rather than love, or money or fame.

            Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

Which of these sentence do you thin is the stronger one?

            Your success will depend on you, not on me.

            Your success will depend not on me, but on you.

            The jury found him guilty after deliberating for several hours.

            After deliberating for several hours, the jury found him guilty.

            I will never go buy that brand.

            Never again will I buy that brand.

Place parenthetical expressions such as I think, as they say, I am told, on the other hand, toward the middle of the sentence as in example 3 above in order to emphasize the key information.

Anti-climax is used for humour.  Put the trivial point in the emphatic position to draw the laugh:

            Confess?  I’ll confess anything — murder, arson, embezzlement, forgery, piracy, stealing candy from babies!  What would you have me confess?